In Rememberance

Honestly this has been the hardest weekend I have had in a long time....if not ever. 

Friday I received a phone call letting me know that sweet Addi passed away.  I cannot even begin to tell you the emotions I have struggled with over this.  It was just NOT supposed to end this way.  The Carpenters lost their 4 year old son, Cade, on April 20th last year and are burying their second child just less than a year later.  My heart is completely broken for them and I just wish there was something I could do to ease their pain.

We will always remember her big bows, sweet smile and fighting spirit.  Please pray for Darrell and Susie as they pick up the pieces and make these next steps.

We went out of town....and on Saturday night got a phone call that Lola had passed away.  I know in light of losing a child, this does not compare....but it does still hurt.  She was a great dog, very loved, and will be missed deeply.

 The whole drive home I kept thinking about how to tell Nate...how do you explain death to an almost 4 year old?  We hadn't even told him about Addi yet (I was way too emotional still) and  it did not seem real that Lola was gone since we had not been home.  Today when we got home and I went to let them out of their kennels,  it hit really hard that we lost our dog. When Nate asked where Lola was, Ted and told the kids that Lola got sick and died, and went to Heaven. To which Nate replied, "But I thought we loved that chunky dog"....we tried our best to explain that we still love Lola but we will not get to see her again. And his reply was pretty much "ok let's get a new bulldog". And thus, his grieving process. No tears were shed.

Tonight we were saying our prayers before bed....and we always pray for Addi's heart. I asked that we pray for Darrell and Susie's (her mom and dad's) hearts now because Addi is gone. And he lit up and said, "but Mommy, she's so happy now. She has Jesus AND Lola".

Of course he then proceeded to tell me how Lola rode up to Heaven on a bubble and licked Addi's face...but whatever! I just want to be 3 again and be excited that Addi gets to play with Jesus and Lola rather than hurting because I don't.