I quit

I always felt like the lucky one when it came to major life decisions. Things have always fallen into place for me, especially my career.  I kinda stumbled upon occupational therapy and instantly fell in love with the field.  I knew what I wanted to get into even before I finished school.  I ended up having a fieldwork assignment cancel and happened upon a quaint little brain injury facility where I was amazed at the therapists that worked there and thoroughly enjoyed my fieldwork rotation. I felt like it was OT Heaven.  About a month before I graduated, they called an offered me a job.  Although it was a big step to leave my family and friends in West Texas I knew it was a place I would enjoy, so I was ecstatic about working for this facility. For the past 11 years I have poured my heart and soul into this little place.  I have been fortunate enough to work alongside some incredible therapists, meet amazing patients, present at Universities and conferences all over Texas, and even have a few publications under my belt.  I climbed the "ladder of success" from intern to director and made amazing memories along the way.  In fact, it was at this small facility that I met and fell in love with the man I married, the father of my precious children.  I loved what I did and am passionate about brain injury recovery!  That is why I really did not mind working more than 40 hours a week, staying later than necessary to finish up a report, or to work a little extra with a patient or two.  I really thought I would be a one job career woman. I have always admired people that have worked for companies for 40+ years and assumed I would be "one of those" because I loved what I did, that much.

It never really changed, the job is still wonderful, the people there are amazing.  Yet, somewhere along the way, I came to the realization that something had to change.

I can pinpoint the moment where I realized I was slowly but repeatedly choosing work over my family. I drove into work leaving my sick little boy at home with Daddy, because I felt like my staff and patients needed me there.  I justified that Daddy was fully capable of caring for my son and I was needed at my job.  My job, the one where no one (but me) really cared that I was there early, staying late, and pouring out so much of myself that at the end of the day I was exhausted.  I would come home and have nothing left for my own flesh and blood.  I would get angry at my 4 year old and 2 year old for acting like, well, like a 4 year old and two year old should act.  After feeding, bathing, and getting them into bed, I would collapse into my own bed, with little communication with my husband.  Something had to give.

So I quit.

I turned in a 3 month notice, probably initially so that I had time to talk myself out of quitting a job I loved so much.  My boss completely thought I was joking when I told him I wanted to turn in my resignation;  even with my resignation letter in hand, he looked at me and waited patiently for the "punch line".  I was not at all subtle about how much I loved my job.  I was an emotional wreck for the first month after turning in my resignation but every time I thought about my pros and cons, I would envision my sick little boy on the couch, with those BIG puppy dog eyes looking at me as I chose to drive away - so I could help other people get better.  That dreadful decision was wrong on so many levels and my heart was heavy for weeks over that moment.

So I quit.

Now I choose my family. I choose to be the Mom that is able to pick her kids up after school each day. I choose to work less hours in a less stressful environment.  I choose to pour more into my own family.  I am so thankful that my husband is supportive of less income so that I can be a better mom and wife.

This is not easy, I will miss my patients and the victories I was able to see everyday.  I will miss my coworkers and all the hilarious moments we share. I will miss the craziness that comes with working in brain injury.  BUT I will no longer miss my little family growing ever so quickly, right before my eyes.  And really, that is what it is all about.

 I am, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the lucky one.


Here are a couple pictures of the most amazing send off in history....I am going to miss this crazy bunch a lot!  Honestly, my car was a work of art,  this "gift" is something I will always cherish.